Baseball Movie Review: Major League (1989)

[Tyomoth]

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How about a sports movie where a bunch of misfits are put together on one team, and they somehow come together to win it all? *Yawn!* We've seen that already at least a dozen times.

What if they don't band together for the love of the game or each other, but out of pure spite for their money-grubbing boss? 

Now you have something. Major League!

Major League came out in 1989, which is right in the golden era of baseball movies. It doesn't hang its hat on nostalgia or pure love of baseball, but on laughs, and it crushes it. There are so many great one-liners in this movie that I call it the Caddyshack of baseball. 

First Inning: The plot for Major League is pretty simple. The owner of the Cleveland Indians (today's Guardians) dies, and his "Vegas beauty" of a young wife, Rachel Phelps, played by Margaret Whitton, inherits the team. She isn't a Cleveland kind of gal, so she tries to put together the worst team imaginable to drive attendance down to the point where she can move the team to Miami. Here's the lineup they introduce us to:

Pedro Cerrano (played by Dennis Haysbert) - A power-hitting outfielder from Cuba who practices Voodoo and can't hit a curveball. He's big, he's tough, and he's flawed. 

Jake Taylor (played by Tom Berenger) - A former star catcher with bad knees but a good head for the game. 

Willie Mays Hayes (played by Wesley Snipes) - A dude no one has heard of who shows up and can run like the wind. A base stealer that can't really hit, but can talk a big game.

Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn (played by Charlie Sheen) - A fireball-throwing pitcher straight out of the California penal league. The bad boy of the team. He has a bit of trouble with his control.

Eddie Harris (played by Chelcie Ross) - The aging junkball pitcher who will put anything, including snot or KY, on the ball to get an edge. Big fan of Jesus, but not Cerrano.

Roger Dorn (played by Corbin Bernsen) - A big-contract third baseman who cares more about his paycheck and lifestyle than the game or the team. The last thing he wants to do is get hurt. 

Lou Brown (played by James Gammon) - A first-time manager who gave up his job selling tires to take the helm, but he had to think about it for a while. 

Middle Innings: Once these guys get wind of their owner's plan, they grind it out and start winning just to prove her wrong and aggravate her. Maybe the current Twins team should watch this one. Just sayin'. 

On the field, the baseball is fairly good. Harris, the junk-baller, doesn't look super-legit, but it's good enough. Berenger looks pretty good throwing, Haysbert looks like he could play for real, and Charlie Sheen was a stud high-school pitcher and shortstop who looks legit on the mound. Reports say Snipes had zero baseball skills beyond running fast and sliding, so they had to do some fancy editing whenever he had to catch or throw the ball. It works well enough that I never questioned it. But, seriously, we're not here for the baseball. 

Last Out: The build-up to a playoff chance is fun, and there are plenty of funny moments both on and off the field. They end up in a winner-take-all playoff game against, of course, the New York Yankees. Of course, they win in dramatic fashion. What did they do in the playoffs? We'll never know. 

When people ask the question, "What's your favorite baseball movie?" many, many people immediately say Major League, and for good reason. It is funny as hell while sneaking in one of the more exhilarating moments in baseball movie history, If you don't get tingles when they call in Ricky Vaughn to face his nemesis on the Yankees and he comes out of the bullpen while the crowd roars along to "Wild Thing" (The Troggs, not Tone Loc), you're a little dead inside. It's a great moment that made kids in 1989 immediately think, "What would my entrance song be?" For the record, mine would be "Blood of Heroes" by Megadeth. 

The cast of "Major League" is fantastic. I'm not sure how they could have done better at just about any of the spots. They're all likable, funny, and disturbing in their own way. Plus, Rene Russo as Jake Taylor's love interest and Stacy Carroll as Susan Dorn fit right in. Gammon, as manager Lou Brown, steals a few scenes in an understated way. In fact, he's one of the best characters on the screen. But, as if this wasn't all the makings for a great baseball comedy, they brought in a ringer. In the radio booth for the Cleveland Indians is Harry Doyle, played by none other than Mr. Bob Uecker... and it might be the best thing he ever did in his legendary career (sorry Brewers fans). Throughout the movie, he fires one-liners as he calls the game that are absolutely epic. Who hasn't watched a wild pitch and said, "Juuusst a bit outside!"

All in all, Major League is a baseball classic that keeps you laughing and has enough baseball legitimacy to work. It's definitely in my top five.

Run Time: 1 hr 47 min
IMDB Score: 7.2/10
Scorecard: Homerun to the upper deck!
Best Line: Yikes. There are so many! My personal favorite is when Hayes makes a showboating basket catch and returns to the dugout, the manager greets him at the step and says, "Nice catch, Hayes. Don't ever f#$%ing do it again!" 

What are some of your favorite lines from Major League?

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[Michael Trzinski]

'Going somewhere, Meat?' 
'Ninety feet.'

'Eff you, Jobu. I do it myself.'

'Forget about the curveball, Ricky. Give 'em the heater!'

'Yo, bartender...Jobu needs a refill!'

 

[Gail Kalata]

An absolute masterpiece of a movie! So many great quotes, but here's a few fav's:
Dorn to Vaughn: "Let's cut through the crap, Vaughn. I only got one thing to say to you: "Strike this mother ____ out."

Harry Doyle, while announcing: "The post-game show is brought to you by .. [searches through papers] .. *****, I can't find it.  To hell with it."

Hayes to Vaughn: "What league you been playing in?"
Vaughn: "California Penal League"
Hayes: "Never heard of it; how'd you end up there?"
Vaughn: "Stole a car"

Heywood (opposing player): "How's your wife and my kids?"

Hayes (during commercial shoot): "The American Express card; don't steal home without it."

Hayes (on bumpy flight in storm): "Call the stewardess, Vaughn; I need one of those bags."
Vaughn: "There aren't any stewardesses."
Hayes: "I wonder if there are any pilots."

Hayes to Taylor: (after providing Pedro with a bucket of KFC for his pre-game sacrifice to Jobu, which didn't seem to help his batting performance): "Maybe we should've gotten the live chicken [he had asked for]" 

[Richie the Rally Goat]

C’mon Dorn! Get in front of the damn ball! Don’t give me this Olay ********

[nathanj42]

For what it's worth, Chelcie Ross was a college pitcher at Texas State, a D1 program now a days. 

[Fire Dan Gladden]

One of the top five most quotable movies ever made.